Always up for an adventure, I was thrilled to hear that the local dungeon had a monthly knitting group. Tired of meeting women in other groups that just weren’t moving at the same speed as me, I thought this could be a good way to get my knit on, meet some interesting ladies and probably come out with a good story.
And boy did I ever.
I show up at the dungeon, knitting gear in hand, meet April, the woman who puts on this knitting circle and am introduced in rapid succession to about a half a dozen other ladies.
So I sit down at the knitting table and get my knit on. Mind you, this wasn’t actually a knitting circle–everyone is actually crocheting. Fending of my disappointment at realizing this, I figure there must be some conversation I can at least feign from the experience.
Come to find out that everyone at the circle is very well acquainted. It becomes apparent that April is a Domme and many of the other ladies (if not all?) were her submissives.
Okay… kinda weird…
They begin talking about a recent event they’d attended for the opening of another dungeon. As part of the deal, April’s dungeon did an objectification scene at the opening party.
And here’s where things get funky.
Turns out that the objectification scene was done with two of the subs at the table, being dommed by April. Of the various conversation threads, I pulled together two vital pieces of information:
1. The subs were dressed at ladybugs
2. The domme ripped out the tampon of one of the subs and smeared it in her face.
Wait. What was that? The dom ripped out the tampon of one of the subs and smeared it in her face?
That’s right. So imagine my surprise/revulsion/confusion over this. I am at this point, brought to complete silence, because really, what the fuck do you say after someone tells you they smeared menstrual blood all over a woman dressed as a ladybug.
Somehow I keep knitting. The ladies keep talking and laughing it up at which point April turns to me and says:
Now I don’t want you to judge me, but I almost did acid while I was at that party.
Ok, so now you’re blowing my mind. Did you see that? That was my brain exploding.
Because in the scheme of things, acid would have been the most normal thing you could have done that evening. That would have at least signaled to me that you had some shred of godonlyknowswhat in your core. So no, no judgement passed.
At this point I have no choice BUT to go back to the knitting group next month. Unless of course they get wind of this post and try to impale me with a pineapple or something.
But even that would make a good story.